Teachers in Transition – Episode 252: Queen Bees, Battling Burnout, and the 5 Ps: How to Know When It’s Time to Go

In this buzz-tastic episode of Teachers in Transition, Vanessa explores what we can learn from bees about burnout, neglect, and leadership. She shares how long-term emotional neglect manifests for educators, how to begin reversing it with intentional self-care, and what transformation might look like when teachers are finally nourished the way they deserve.

You’ll also hear a practical, soul-nurturing hack for “sharpening the saw,” and an in-depth walk through Vanessa’s 5 Ps Decision Framework - a simple but profound tool to help you decide if it’s time to stay in teaching, shift your role, or start building your exit strategy.

If you want to scoot over to the framework section, that starts at 16:03.

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The transcript to this podcast is found on the episode’s homepage at Buzzspout

Transcript

Are you a teacher who is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed? Do you worry that you're feeling symptoms of burnout - or are you sure you've already gotten there? Have you started to dream of doing something different or a new job or perhaps pursuing an entirely different career - but you don't know what else you're qualified to do? You don't know how to start a job search, and you just feel stuck. If that sounds like you, I promise you are not alone. My name is Vanessa Jackson; and I am a career transition and job search coach, and I specialize in helping burnt out teachers just like you deal with the overwhelmingly stressful nature of your day-to-day job and to consider what other careers might be out there waiting for you. You might ask yourself, What tools do I need to find a new career?  Are my skills valuable outside the classroom?  How and where do I even get started?  These are all questions you deserve answers to, and I can help you find them.  I’m Vanessa Jackson. Come and join me for Teachers in Transition.  

Hi!  And welcome back!  Today on the podcast, we are going to talk about bees and what we can learn from them about neglect and elevating others, we have a hack about inexpensive ways to sharpen the saw, and in our career transition segment, we are going to really dive into some of the things that you might want to consider when making the decision of whether it’s time to leave the classroom or not.

In today’s lead segment, a little motivation, a little inspiration, a little compassion.  You’ve probably heard the phrase: “Some are born to greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”

Let’s look at that… but in the context of bees.

Bees need a queen. She lays the eggs. Without her, the hive can’t survive. So when a hive loses its queen, things start to shut down—no new eggs, no future. But what’s fascinating is what the bees don’t do.

They don’t panic.
 They don’t wait for someone to save them.

Instead, they have a simple but powerful emergency plan. The worker bees choose an ordinary larva - just one of the many - and feed it something extraordinary: royal jelly.

Royal jelly is rare. It’s made by the healthiest bees and packed with proteins, vitamins, and bioactive compounds. The chosen larva is fed this exclusively.  And in just a few days, everything changes.  Her body develops differently. Her ovaries activate. She grows larger, stronger, and her lifespan increases by a factor of twenty.

She doesn’t work. She leads.  She doesn’t follow a routine.  She gives life.

And here’s the most important part:  She wasn’t born different.
She was made to be different by what she was given.

Same genetic code. Same DNA.
 Her destiny was changed by nourishment, attention, and support.

Let that sink in.

It wasn’t fireworks. It wasn’t magic. It was intentional care in a moment of crisis.  This is a very important phrase so I am going to say it again – an intentional care in a moment of crisis. 

Do you ever feel like the opposite of that is what always happens in a classroom - An intentional neglect of our care in the classroom?  Sadly, in many cases, being neglected and ignored can sometimes be the best thing that happens because at least then we aren’t given a week’s worth of work to do in an hour.
 
 So what happens to people who experience long-term neglect?  You probably already know a lot of this because we’ve been trained to look for it in students. We’re not used to turning that back to look at ourselves:
 
What does that look like?  Well, it can show up as:

• Low self-esteem, like you’re invisible or never enough.  You lose confidence in your skills and abilities. You doubt yourself…all the time
• Depression and anxiety, often rooted in not feeling safe or valued. You’ll feel exhausted, it’s increasingly difficult to get out of the car.  
• Numbness: Maybe you cried a lot because you physically need that release and your vulnerability gets used against you, so you learned to try and not feel the repeated emotional cuts. 
• Shame and guilt, especially around not being able to meet everyone’s needs all the time.

Neglect can also impair executive functioning—the part of your brain that handles planning, focus, organization, and impulse control. That might look like trouble staying on task, or late-night doom-scrolling leading to impulse purchases you didn’t need.

Then there’s the internal narrative that says, “My needs don’t matter”—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

And when those emotional patterns go unchecked, they often show up physically:

• Increased vulnerability to chronic illness – a lot of these manifest initially with joint pain and fatigue – which often get written off for women as some sort of hysteria that can be treated by moving a little more and eating a little less. 
• Poor self-care: not sleeping, not eating well, delaying medical appointments
• Symptoms like unexplained aches, stomach upset, or relentless fatigue

These are signs of your body waving a red flag.

Neglect can affect your relationships, too. You might find yourself:

• People-pleasing to avoid conflict, saying yes to things that you ought to say ‘no’ to because you don’t want the fight that comes with defending your position.
• Minimizing your needs to feel safe or accepted - 
• Struggling to ask for help or set healthy boundaries, especially if you were punished or picked on for doing so in the past

All of that can lead to behavioral coping patterns like:

• Self-sabotage – ruining your plans to take care of yourself
• Risk-taking: driving when too tired – which has been proven to be as dangerous as driving drunk.  
• Addictive or compulsive behaviors - whether that’s alcohol, excessive screen time, or just zoning out
• Trying to numb or control our feelings through food or getting lost in a hobby.
• A trauma response called hyper-independence - becoming the person who never asks for help because experience has taught you that support might not be there or that you’ll be punished for even needing help the first place. 

If you found yourself nodding along to several of these, there’s a good chance you’re also feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

And let’s be honest—that’s probably what brought you to this podcast in the first place.

But back to those bees: 

A new queen is chosen, transformed, and eventually saves the hive. And not just saves it—they come back stronger, more organized, and more vital than before.

What does this teach us?

In times of crisis - when everything feels like it’s falling apart - there’s a path to clarity, transformation, and leadership. It’s not just about what you were born with. It’s about the support you receive, the care you’re given, and the choices made during the hardest moments.

And honestly? As a teacher, you’ve probably gone through more of that kind of pressure and transformation than most people ever will.
 The only difference is—you’ve done it without the royal jelly.

No magical nutrition.
 No extra attention.
 No time to rest or grow.

But imagine what you could become if you did have all that.

If you could finally control your time…
 If you got to decide where your energy goes…
 If your focus, talents, and skills were fully nourished.

So that leads us to the big question of the day – what would your royal jelly look like? 
 Is it hearing that you’ve done a good job? 
 It is fewer chores on the never-ending list? 
 Is it someone ELSE taking over kitchen duties?
 Is it having a team that supports YOU?  (let’s face it, you do the work of three people)
 
 Here are 9 things you can do to support YOU – and one thing that people say that you should do that you should probably ignore. 
 
 Here's what we’re going to implement: 
 1. Notice and Name – Start giving those painful interactions a name.  “Wow, that was dismissive” or “I felt like my opinions didn’t matter.”  Even acknowledging them to yourself can help you regulate that emotion.   If you’re in the process of trying to decide whether to stay in teaching or to go, you might keep a tally of how often this comes up and potentially just note the number of times in a day you were made to feel small, invisible, used, dismissed, and disrespected.  It’s easy to forget when it’s constant. 

2.  Have that folder (digital and physical) of warm fuzzies – things that made you feel seen or appreciated.  On particularly bad days, go through it to remind yourself that you DO matter and you DO make a difference. 

3. Schedule a duty-free lunch.  We all know that even when they’re duty free, they’re not duty free. Try once a week to have a lunch without other work in it.  
 
 4. Integrate physical movement – walk the hallway, try tapping, do a Wonder Woman spin in your space and put your hands on your hips.  

5.  Find a battle buddy – someone that you can ask for help with no judgement attached.  Mutual support will have exponential benefits. 
 
 6.  Create one or two small boundaries.  Try things like – no more emails after 5:00PM.  Or, My time is already taken on things I want to do, so I will not be guilted into taking on a new club. 

7.  Transition Rituals – in the 50s, the husband would come home from work and have cocktail hour lovingly mixed by the stay-at-home-wifey-poo.  I suggest non-alcoholic hydration, and a few moments of song (this seems like a great place to insert “Let It Go” as car karaoke).  Music can have a powerful effect on our psyche.  Make sure to include some of your favorite songs from your teens in your transition playlist. 

8. Make sure you have an end of your day.  Set a time.  Create an end of the day ritual to write down or dictate to your voice app the things that you have left to do or that you want to do and don’t want to forget. 

9.  And at the beginning of the NEXT day, refer to that list and set up your day.  
 
 (I still have a hard time with 8 and 9 myself, lol)
 
 And one thing to ignore: 
 I’m sure you’ve heard of the one-minute or two-minute rule.  If a task takes less than one or two minutes, do it right then.  Ignore this in the context of email – those things never take less than two minutes because you know you’re going to rewrite that thing a few times.

And moving on to the hack, I want to review that whole “Sharpen the Saw” comment and a great way to sharpen it.
 
 In Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the seventh habit is "Sharpen the Saw." It's based on the story of a man who’s working so hard to cut down a tree with a dull saw because he doesn’t take the time to stop and sharpen it - even though doing so would make his work so much easier.

The thing is, we don’t always notice when our own saws are becoming dull. The decline happens slowly, bit by bit, and then one day everything just feels like you’re slogging through quicksand

It’s like when you finally get a new set of tires and realize how smooth the drive feels. Or when you finally replace your razor and think, “Why did I wait so long?” Sharpening the saw is the same. We push ourselves to check off one more task, attend one more meeting, or finish one more email—and we feel like we can’t afford to step away.

But sometimes, that’s exactly when we most need to pause.

The time you “lose” in rest or recovery is gained back - often tenfold - in clarity, efficiency, and renewed energy.

So, let’s try doing nothing. 
 
 Let’s not underestimate the power of doing nothing.

I was on a trip recently, and I happened to be near the beach. With all the activities going on, I found myself really wanting to watch the sunrise. So I set my alarm for some ridiculously early, ungodly hour - and honestly, it was the best decision I could have made.

I walked down to the beach. No one was there except a security guard, who looked a little confused about why someone was out and about at that hour. I found a place to sit, listened to the waves, and watched the color palettes of nature slowly shift as the sun began to rise. I heard the birds wake up. I saw a crow - not a seagull, but a crow - land nearby and call out to the morning sun, waking up its feathered friends so they too could engage in their daily rituals.

And in that moment, there was nothing to do but sit and take it all in - watch, smell, hear, and feel the sand under my feet. No work. No obligations. No responsibilities. Just a rare, peaceful moment of stillness.

Do not underestimate what 30 minutes of that kind of stillness can do for your soul.  Heck, Do not underestimate what FIVE minutes of that kind of stillness can do for your soul —your creativity, your clarity, and your ability to return to life’s demands with more energy and perspective.

In today’s career transition segment, we are going to create a framework to think about.
 I will encourage you to write down your reflections on these, so if you are in a place where you can’t do that right now, there is a time stamp at the top of the shownotes so you can scoot back over to this point.  (16:03)

This is the 5 P’s framework: 

Purpose  |  Payoff  |  Pain  |  Potential  |  Personal Life
 
 Each "P" offers a lens to reflect on your current reality - without guilt, shame, or pressure to make an immediate decision. The only goal is clarity.

1. Purpose – Am I still connected to the reason I became a teacher?

Ask yourself: Does my work still feel meaningful?
 Do you feel a sense of pride or purpose when you talk about your work, or do you mostly feel frustration or numbness?
 Is your daily routine aligned with the values and vision that brought you into teaching in the first place- or has it drifted into something you no longer recognize?

If your sense of purpose is still alive but the system or setting is the problem, you might explore staying in the field but changing campuses, roles, or grade levels.

If your purpose feels distant or lost, it may be time to consider what other types of work would allow you to make an impact without sacrificing yourself.

Take a moment and write down all the things you still find meaningful in your job. Just write until you run out of things.  If you have to really think hard about it to find it, it isn’t all that meaningful anymore.

2. Payoff – What am I getting in return for my time, energy, and sacrifice?

This is about more than salary - though compensation absolutely matters.  Teachers simply cannot be paid enough for what they do. 
 Consider the emotional return, energy balance, respect, support, and time for recovery.
 Are you constantly pouring out more than you’re receiving in return?
 Do you come home depleted every single day?
 Is your work acknowledged or taken for granted?
 
 When the payoff disappears - emotionally, financially, or energetically - it’s often a sign the situation has become unsustainable.

Ask yourself: If I weren’t already in this job, knowing everything I know now, would I take it?  Take the time to write your answer down. 

3. Pain – Is the pain I’m experiencing situational or systemic?

This is a big one. Some pain is temporary. Some is structural.

Is your current exhaustion or dissatisfaction tied to a specific event—such as a new administrator, a personal health issue, or a difficult class? That’s situational pain, and it may pass or improve with a change in environment.  Maybe just a new campus or district.

But if you’re dealing with constant overwork, lack of respect, pressure without support, or emotional labor that never stops - year after year - that’s systemic.
It’s not just this school. It’s the entire system.

If the pain follows you no matter where you go within the field, it may be time to explore other industries that value your skills but don’t exploit your energy.
 
 Take a moment and write down all your pain points.  Go back and put stars next to Big Three.  A pain point in a business context is a part of the system that causes problems or obstructions and prevents you from doing your best work. 

4. Potential – Is there room to grow, or have I hit a ceiling?

Do you see opportunities to grow professionally in a way that excites you- not just more work, but real development?
 Do you feel like your skills are expanding, or do you feel stuck in a loop?

Sometimes, stagnation shows up as boredom, irritability, or loss of curiosity. These are signs your brain and spirit are ready for a new challenge. The human brain craves that sense of struggle to master a new thing.  And the lack of it is what causes the brain to slip backwards into decline.  (This might have to be its own whole podcast segment someday)

If advancement within education doesn’t interest you - or isn’t feasible - you might ask yourself what kind of growth would feel meaningful right now.
 That growth may exist outside of the classroom.

Take a moment and write down what the perfect environment would be in terms of your growth and advancement.  What’s your dream job?   Then write down the path to get there from where you are currently.  Is it feasible to get there?   It is possible in your current situation?  

5. Personal Life – Is teaching compatible with the life you want to live?

 To me, this is the biggest one.  Take the time to write answers to all these questions (you can always check out the transcript of the podcast if you want to see them.  It’s on the episode’s page on Buzzsprout). 
 
 

Can you be the kind of parent, partner, or person you want to be while teaching in its current form?
 Are you always putting your own life on pause for grading, planning, or stress recovery?
 Do you have enough energy left at the end of the day to enjoy your life?
 Is your health suffering? Are your relationships fraying? What’s going on there? 

Your job is meant to support your life—not become your entire life.

If teaching is preventing you from living in alignment with your values or dreams, it may be time to start crafting an exit strategy.  It is taking 6 to 12+ months in this economy to land white collar jobs, so an exit strategy is absolutely necessary. 
 
 As we come to the end of the podcast, I want to ask for your help.  If you liked this podcast, share with it with a friend who might also want to know they aren’t alone in their stress and overwhelm.  There are answers.  You can also head over to our facebook page (the link is in the  show notes) or connect with me on LinkedIn. 

If today’s episode helped you take a breath and see your situation more clearly, I’ve got something to take it even further.

Download your free copy of the 5 P Framework for Burned-Out Teachers at TeachersInTransition.com. It’s a printable workbook to help you decide whether it’s time to stay, shift, or start building your exit strategy - with no guilt, no pressure, and no burnout required.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’d like to see how I can help, you are welcome to schedule a quick discovery call to talk about your unique situation and see what unique solutions might be there for you.  
 
 And speaking of bees…

You are the queen in waiting.
 And maybe now it’s time for your transformation.

That’s the podcast for today! If you liked this podcast, tell a friend, and don’t forget to rate and review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Tune in weekly to Teachers in Transition where we discuss Job Search strategies as well as stress management techniques.  And I want to hear from you!  Please reach out and leave me a message at Vanessa@Teachersintransition.com  You can also leave a voicemail or text at 512-640-9099. 

I’ll see you here again next week and remember – YOU are amazing!