Teachers in Transition

Teachers in Transition – Episode 229: From Stress to Strength: The toll of pretending everything is fine

• Vanessa Jackson • Episode 229

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In this episode of Teachers in Transition, Vanessa Jackson explores the parallels between teaching and acting, inspired by John Lovitz’s "master thespian" character on Saturday Night Live. Vanessa delves into how educators often put on a performance—acting like everything is fine when it’s not, faking enthusiasm, and carrying the weight of stress alone. She emphasizes the toll this constant performance takes on mental health and offers strategies to process stress authentically.

Vanessa also highlights the importance of togetherness, drawing inspiration from Guardians of the Galaxy. The key takeaway: We’re stronger together, whether facing challenges in teaching, the holiday season, or transitioning to a new career. Vanessa provides actionable steps to connect with others, seek help when needed, and embrace collaboration as a source of strength.

To wrap up, Vanessa shares resources for job seekers, including a recommendation for Job Applicant Perspective—a platform empowering applicants to rate companies and access free job search resources. She encourages listeners to reach out, reminding them they’re not alone on their journey out of the classroom.

John Lovitz’s Master Thespian Clips

·         SNL Master Thespian Clip 1 (bonus!  Robin Williams!) 

·         SNL Master Thespian Clip 2 

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The transcript of this podcast can be found on the podcasts’ homepage at Buzzsprout. 

Are you a teacher who is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed? do you worry that you're feeling symptoms of burnout - or are you sure you've already gotten there? Have you started to dream of doing something different or a new job or perhaps pursuing an entirely different career - but you don't know what else you're qualified to do? You don't know how to start a job search and you just feel stuck. If that sounds like you, I promise you are not alone. my name is Vanessa Jackson; and I am a career transition and job search coach and I specialize in helping burnt out teachers just like you deal with the overwhelmingly stressful nature of your day-to-day job and to consider what other careers might be out there waiting for you. You might ask yourself, What tools do I need to find a new career?  Are my skills valuable outside the classroom?  How and where do I even get started?  These are all questions you deserve answers to, and I can help you find them.  I’m Vanessa Jackson. Come and join me for Teachers in Transition.  

***Hi!  And Welcome back to another episode of Teachers in Transition. I am your host, Vanessa Jackson – I’m a career transition and job search coach specializing in teachers. I teach you how to navigate the journey from stressed, overwhelmed and burnt-out teacher to your next career where you are valued, challenged, and have mental and emotional space at the end of your workday for your family, your friends, your pets, your hobbies - anything you want. I provide tips and suggestions to help with stress and mental health, hacks and recommendations to help you through your day, and job-hunting tips.  If you are frustrated with your current teaching position, if you are stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out you are in the right place! Today on the podcast I talk about why it’s important not to isolate yourself because there is power in togetherness.  I have a great resource for job seekers that is looking to revolutionize the whole job seeking game.  

I was frustrated about something the other day and I guess it was showing on my face because someone asked if I was fine.  Of course I said I was fine.  That’s we do, right?  And then I found myself thinking of Jon Lovitz. For those unfamiliar, Jon Lovitz is an actor who gained quite a bit of fame during his time on Saturday Night Live. One of his iconic characters was a "master thespian"—self-proclaimed as the greatest actor ever. What made the skit hilarious was the complete absurdity of his character. Far from being the best character, Lovitz exaggerated every line and action in the most ridiculous ways.

One of these recurring bits involved melodramatic declarations paired with unconvincing “evidence.” For example, he would fold one finger down and announce, “My finger has been cut off!” Then he’d wave it dramatically and say, “But no, it hasn’t... (pops finger up) because acting!” The over-the-top delivery, combined with the absurdity of his claims, made the character a fan favorite. (I’ll include a couple of clips in the show notes so you can see for yourself.)

Thinking about Lovitz’s character got me reflecting on how often we, too, become “master thespians” in our daily lives—especially in teaching.

In the teaching profession, we often act. We act like everything is fine when it’s not. We act excited when enthusiasm is the last thing we feel. We act engaged during faculty meetings, even though our minds are racing with the 5,000 other tasks demanding our attention. And let’s be honest - half the time, those meetings could’ve been an email anyway!

This constant "performance" can take a real toll. When we spend so much energy pretending everything is okay, we neglect the deeper work of processing our feelings and addressing our stress. There’s just no time. It’s a strain that can build up over time, leaving us feeling emotionally and physically drained.

Pretending to be okay doesn’t make the underlying challenges disappear. In fact, it can exacerbate them. When we put on a brave face or act like nothing is wrong, we deny ourselves the chance to be authentic and seek the help we might truly need.

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote in his book Mother Night: “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” While this is a thought-provoking idea, it doesn’t always apply neatly to teaching. Pretending to be fine doesn’t transform us into people who are fine - it simply masks the problem.

As teachers, we often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards. We feel like we have to be "on" all the time—smiling, supportive, and full of energy. But the reality is, we’re human. We have limits, emotions, and moments of vulnerability. Acknowledging that is not only okay; it’s necessary

The holidays, in particular, can amplify this dynamic. Between personal obligations, end-of-year responsibilities, and the emotional weight that often accompanies the season, it’s easy to fall into the trap of acting like we’re managing when we’re not.

Here’s the truth: It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to let the mask slip and admit that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Reaching out for help—whether to a trusted friend, a family member, or a professional—is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength and understanding.

Sometimes, what you need most is someone to listen, someone to remind you that you’re not alone in this. Whether it’s a coffee date with a close friend, a heartfelt conversation with a loved one, or a session with a therapist, the simple act of being heard can be incredibly healing and validating.

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And while I am talking about togetherness, let’s talk about the  Guardians of the Galaxy. In this movie, in case you missed it, you have a group of people who have come together because situations put them together.  They would not have chosen to be together if they had been given the choice.  They come to appreciate each other’s work and learn to work together. At the end, in the big fight scene the villain is getting ready to make the big mess, and our team of heroes is  really not ready to deal with it.  So, the main protagonist stages an impromptu dance moment as a distraction.  Distraction is successful, the weapon is destroyed, and the weapon’s power source is launched into the air.  THIS is the treasure everyone has been fighting for in the movie - the Power Stone, a mysterious object that grants extraordinary power to anyone who wields it. But there’s a catch: no mere mortal can hold the Power Stone without being destroyed by its energy.

The Power Stone is thrown into the air, and both our hero and the villain leap to grab it. The hero gets to it first, clutching it tightly in his hand. Immediately, the stone’s immense energy courses through his body, threatening to destroy him from the inside out. Just as he’s about to succumb, he hears the voice of someone he cares about shouting, “Take my hand! Take my hand!”

In in that moment, he flashes back to a painful memory of his mother saying the same thing, urging him to take her hand, and he didn’t do it then.  He ran off alone. In the present, he reaches out, and his friend grabs hold of his hand. That small act gives him just enough strength to hang on a little longer. Then one by one, the rest of the Guardians reach out and grab each other’s hands, forming a chain. Together, they distribute the Power Stone’s energy among themselves, ensuring that no one individual bears the full weight of its power. They survive because they are together.

The villain, stunned, asks, “How are you doing this?” Our hero, with defiance, replies, “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, [insert colorful expletive here].”

This moment beautifully illustrates the power of together.

There’s a saying I love: Anything divided by two half as much. When you divide happiness, you share the joy, making it even bigger. When you divide sadness, you lessen the burden, making it easier to carry.

As a teacher - or in any high-stress role - it’s so important not to go through your challenges alone. “No man is an island” isn’t just a poetic sentiment; it’s a reminder that we’re not meant to face everything by ourselves.

Think about the most stressful times of the year - maybe it’s testing season, preparing report cards, or juggling lesson planning with personal responsibilities. It’s during these moments that reaching out to others can make all the difference. Whether you connect with others through online communities, like the Teachers in Transition subreddit (not officially afilliated with me), join a Facebook group (like mine), or talk to a trusted colleague, there is immense value in sharing your struggles and hearing, “I’ve been there, too.”

Another fantastic resource is therapy. Talking with a trained professional can help you process stress in ways you might not have thought of before. But even before professional help, having a battle buddy—someone you trust to share the load—can be transformative.

Let’s talk about asking for help. Many of us hesitate to do it. I have to include myself in this group. We fear it makes us look weak or incapable, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Remember a teachers job is really three different jobs packed into one. Think about how good it feels when we can help somebody else (when we have the brain space and the time).  How good it feels to help someone else. It’s fulfilling, right?  B y refusing to ask for help when we need it, we are denying other people that wonderful feeling when they have that opportunity to help us. 

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. It shows that you know your limits and value your well-being.  And that’s something we have to work on – allowing ourselves to value our well-being. 

So here are some action items for today: take a moment to think about your network – your PERSONAL network. Who are the people in your life that you can lean on:? Let’s brainstorm together:

  1. Teacher Buddies: Do you have a colleague you trust? Maybe you can team up for with tasks. For example, classroom decorating can be more enjoyable (and potentially faster) working as a team. Sure, you might be doubling up on the number of tasks, but you’ll be doing it with someone whose company you enjoy and the time will be more pleasant
  2. Family Members: Can your family step in and help? Perhaps they can take over a household chore or two. And don’t automatically discount some of the kids who are a little bit younger. When my kids were younger—upper elementary and middle school I taught them to they learned to cook simple meals. Even my youngest was able to handle spaghetti while he was in upper elementary school, and he was very proud to able to cook dinner - while I was I tackled another task nearby, of course. It wasn’t perfect, but it lightened my load and taught them valuable skills.
  3. Community Groups: Are you part of a church group, a biking club, or another community? Maybe a quilting group? Tap into those connections. Maybe your exercise crew can help you stay accountable for regular workouts. Or you could form a walking club - virtual or in-person - just to encourage each other to keep moving.
  4. Friends: Sometimes, just talking to a friend on the phone can make a world of difference. Whether it’s a quick chat or a heartfelt conversation, that connection can help you feel less alone.

The holidays, while joyous for many, can amplify feelings of loneliness for others. If you’re feeling alone, I urge you to reach out. Create opportunities to connect with others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Remember, being “alone-er” (yes, I just made up a word—if Shakespeare could do it, so can I!) isn’t inevitable. You have the power to change that.

This idea of togetherness also applies to big life changes, like career transitions or job searches. You don’t have to go it alone. If you’ve been listening to my podcast, you know my voice is here for you. Even if we’ve never met, I’m cheering for you and rooting for your success.

If we were to work together, I would guide you step by step—helping you define your goals, craft your resume, optimize your LinkedIn, prepare for interviews, and generally go through the entire process to land the job you want. The skills you gain in the process will stay with you forever.

But even if you’re tackling your job search solo, remember: there are resources and communities out there– podcasts, DIY courses, university placement office…  Use them.

So, as you navigate this holiday season (and beyond), give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. Take time to process the stress, whether that’s through journaling, talking it out, or simply giving yourself a moment to breathe or exercise.

Remember, you don’t have to be a “master thespian” all the time. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is drop the act and be real.

And as you move forward today, think about how you can embrace the power of together. Who can you reach out to? How can you share the load? Whether it’s a big task, like transitioning careers, or a small one, like decorating your classroom, doing it together makes it more manageable—and more meaningful.

You don’t have to carry your Power Stone alone. Whatever challenges you’re facing, there’s strength in numbers. Find your Guardians of the Galaxy, grab their hands, and face it together.

In today's hack which is also our job search tip this week,  I would like to make the quick  recommendation that you go check out the Job Applicant Perspective at jobapplicantperspective.com (linked in the show notes, of course!). This is a website and brain child of Sarah Trumble, and it is a place where you as a job applicant can rate the companies that you apply with. This is a bit of a new tool and like all good crowd-sourced tools, the more people who use it. The better it will get. But in a nutshell. It places accountability on the companies so that it will cut down on bad faith actors in the job description sphere.  The website has some really nice free resources too.  She has some great articles and a TikTok channel, so I’ll link to all of those in the show notes so you get to know her and what she does.
 
 

It is always my hope that this podcast is helpful to you on your journey out of the classroom.  If you find that you might want more assistance – and more individual, personalized assistance, that’s what I do. I walk you work through the 5 Steps of Leaving the Classroom - Decide, Clarify, Build, Refine, and Attract as you translate your skills, inventory your talents, and go about the business of job hunting.  It’s not a failure to work with a coach – Olympic athletes do it all the time! Teachers get in the habit of doing things on their own, but again, together is better and this isn’t something you have to navigate by yourself  .  

I’d love to connect with you—find me on LinkedIn, join our Facebook group, The Teachers in Transition Podcast Club, or visit teachersintransition.com to schedule a complimentary discovery session if you want to talk more . Remember, the best time to start your job search is at least six months before you're ready to leave, so now’s the time to prepare for your career beyond education.  I look forward to meeting you. 

That’s the podcast for today! If you liked this podcast, tell a friend, and don’t forget to rate and review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Tune in weekly to Teachers in Transition where we discuss Job Search strategies as well as stress management techniques.  And I want to hear from you!  Please reach out and leave me a message at Teacher in transition coaching at gmail dot com.  You can also leave a voicemail or text at 512-640-9099. 

I’ll see you here again next week and remember – YOU are amazing!